An Acknowledgment To My Inner Child
If I should die before the rest of your pain,
Know now that I tried my hardest for us
The price of feeling is as large a fee as
Our emotions were always made out to be
Tested, trialed, and examined for validity
Childhood was meant to be magical, but
The only trick you were ever taught
Was how to tuck and hide your feelings away
Lest you become the magician that spoils his own illusion
And you perfected it
Nobody ever told you it was okay to be sad
To be angry, confused, anything but glad
So, here you are, full of fucking rage
Beating against my stomach with fists
Clenched tighter than my jaw
You were always taught to keep your hands to yourself
But never to keep other's hands off of you
You're not easy, babe, just simply scared
Of what happens when you say "no"
It was not. Your. Fault.
My fists are clenched just as tightly as yours
My emotions flood like rabbits hopping out of hats,
I've spoiled the illusion, I'm spoiled with rage-
I see you, I hear you, and I know this feeling
Know now, child, that this is the price of healing
You are allowed to be angry
You are allowed to be sad
I know some days it feels like we'll never feel glad, but
You will experience things you never thought you would
You'll keep on writing poetry, even the kind that's good
You will still feel angry, and you will still be sad, but
You will run into waves and
Make friends with the water
You'll dance around fires, and forget
About being the perfect daughter
You will run through the rain and
Pick flowers for girls
You will start to believe that there's something
Worth sticking around for
In this world
We will be loyal, and we will be brave
We will be the strongest person people know,
Even on our weakest days
And on those days, know now
Child, I am by your side
I will honor your existence and
The feelings held inside
We will not need approval
Or validation of what happens
In our mind
We are made of magic
And we'll never let it fade, and we'll find it
In songs, in nature, in people
And in places where we'll want to stay
Life will fluctuate, but you'll learn to ride the waves
We don't need to write our own ending
We'll find joy in savoring the words and
Interactions within the chapters
There may not be a happy ending, but
At least the story captivated us
And when the last chapter ends and
The cover folds over on itself,
Know now that I am proud of you
For committing to the journey
And finding the magic within the pages
You see, your past does not define our future
And I trust that you'd feel safe with me
Unclench your fists, cry those tears, say those words
And know now, child,
You are fucking free.
