Deteriorating and Defective

Mental illness

Mental health

Health is deteriorating

Health is questionable 

Questionable people

Questionable motives

Motives of ulterior nature

Motives I can't trust

Trust is difficult 

Trust not cognitive 

Cognitive abilities lost

Cognitive function disappearing

Disappearing friendships

Disappearing support system

System failure

System restore

Restore capabilities 

Restore purpose

Purpose I've lost

Purpose I can't find

Find me in fetal position 

Find me, I'm lost

Lost in my mind

Lost in my own world

World so unforgiving

World full of fear

Fear washes over me

Fear is in control

Control, I must have

Control, I need

Need a long vacation 

Need to do more

More is hard

More contempt for myself

Myself is torn

Myself is worried

Worried for the future

Worried about stability 

Stability unstable

Stability I desire

Desire to be different 

Desire to be someone I'm not

Not betrayed by my own brain

Not schizophrenic 

Schizophrenic Shae, they've said

Schizophrenic Shae, she's crazy 

Crazy or defective?

Crazy is a trigger word

Trigger…

Crazy…